30 – Shouldn’t I be…

Thirty. Yep, that’s how old I turned this summer. Sounds really old to some people – sounds really young to my grand-parents. Looking back to my teenage years and early twenties, thirty was definitely the grown up crowd. You were supposed to be established in life, have a career, be wise and know everything and overall just be a grown up, mature, and serious person (unless you fell into the rare category cool adult).

So here I am, officially 30 and hopefully a cool adult and not a super serious old fart. I’ve definitely done some cool worthy activities but at the same time my silly inner ear infection induced vertigo has definitely made me feel like the lamest old fart. Le sigh!

I gave a very mature speech as the maid of honor at one of my best friend’s weddings – yet it was much less formal and more fun than the other speakers (I think they were yet at least a decade older though). But a weekend later we had tons of fun being silly at a roller skating rink for my birthday and the after-party at a bar included a burning taxi (how is that for coolness, huh?!)

I suppose your thirties are the decade that you can balance fun with life’s serious sides. I’ve been able to go on vacations because I finally have worked enough years with my company to have a comfortable (wait, there are never enough) amount of vacation days and my rainy day fund is filled so savings can go towards fun trips.

It’s interesting to leave that phase in my twenties where I would still ask myself “What do I want to do with life after college?”. I doubt I will be changing too much in my career now and I like where I live. It’s kind of nice not having to worry about that for a while. I still have goals, personal and professional, but it’s nice not having to figure out a grand master plan right this minute. Though looking back at what I thought I’d be doing at 30 from five to ten years ago I feel like I should be much further along in the grand scheme… Anyone with me?

Owning a dog, and a car and living in a two bedroom apartment as opposed to sharing one or inhibiting a studio makes me feel grown up. And my furniture somehow matches (mostly anyway… shhhhh desk that I found free on the streets)! Yet I somehow feel that I should be able to paint my place’s walls and perhaps pay a mortgage rather than rent. Perhaps I should drive a car that doesn’t squeak when I round a corner (OK my driving might be part of that). And shouldn’t I have gotten promotions and raises (OK that might be because of my visa and the stupid recession but still)? And shouldn’t my facebook photo albums show me in exotic places like Tel Aviv, Costa Rica, Edinburgh, and on Mount Fuji? I feel like I am failing myself a little bit in all those categories.

So anyway, here’s to more personal development and no stagnation!